The Lovers - What Do I Want?

This card typifies a kind of stereotypical beauty contest between the three goddesses, Hera, Athene, and Aphrodite, who were fighting among themselves. Zeus has appointed the reluctant Trojan prince Paris to be the judge of this contest.The Lovers card is symbolic of the problem of making a choice in love that reflects our values and the kind of person we want to become. There is a choice to be made between  free will and instinctual compulsions.

Seems to me I draw this card The Lovers frequently. I expect the reason being, it is something I struggle with at times, as I believe many women do. My immediate reaction is usually the same. I get a little excited initially, as it makes me think about love relationships because I am a hopeful romantic. I then immediately get a reality check focusing on my life, as a single woman.

 Oh I certainly don't see this as being a negative thing, although there are negative things about the single life that I mostly have come to see them as challenges, just as there are challenges found in a partnership. There are for me simultaneously more positive things about the solo lifestyle.

For me the most positive aspect about being a single woman is having a peace of mind and contentment within myself, and being comfortable in my own skin. It's been a long time since I felt I needed someone else to "complete" me, the way many of us were brought up to falsely believe, as if somehow if you are not committed to a significant other we fall short of happiness. Most women today don't need a man. but I think many might want one, but on their terms, not on anyone else's.

We no longer need to feel the validation of a man or anyone to give us a belief in ourselves. Nor do we need to turn ourselves inside out trying to be the person someone else wants or expects us to be. We are perfect in our own imperfections and don't need approval to be exactly who we are..

It's a different world today, but in other ways there are still so many things that need changing, and seem to be moving backwards instead of forward, in a still predominantly misogynistic society.

I think generally women want to be our own person, to live our own lives in peace, and taking responsibility only for our own happiness.

And so when I ask myself what is it that I really want? I have to say I want peace, regardless if this involves a life partner or not, and if I am happy within myself this is what matters most.